Chrissy,
-I am sorry that I haven't posted in nearly a month. I have no excuse.
-I am sorry that I sometimes forget how much you have been through and continue to go through with your battle with breast cancer. It's just that you are so strong and beautiful that it's hard to believe it.
-I am sorry that I am not in better shape. We should be running a couple miles together every week.
-I am sorry that I don't take you bowling more. We have so much fun when we do!
-I am sorry that our backyard looks like a jungle. I will fix that right away.
-I am sorry that I don't make you feel special every day we are together. Because you are special:)
-I am sorry that your hair isn't growing back the way you wanted it to...
-I am sorry that I have to travel for my new job. I don't like being away from you.
-Finally, I am sorry that you got cancer. I wish it was me instead of you. It isn't fair and I feel helpless because I cannot make it go away.
Monday, May 2, 2016
Wednesday, April 6, 2016
A look back..
Episode 17 is tomorrow!
We are meeting friends tonight in SF for dinner and seeing most of them tomorrow at our tailgate inside lot A at AT&T Park. So much has happened to Christina since I wrote the blog below: 16 rounds of Chemo, two surgeries and countless tests, scans and appointments. She is in pain and uncomfortable most days but she is alive.
Last year, she had her natural hair. This year, it will be her natural hair wig "Felicia." Her hair continues to grow and she hopes to be able to wear a short hairstyle very soon. She starts physical therapy soon to relieve her of a painful hip condition that she has been enduring. She has been enduring a ton of shit since I started this blog. I hope that fades away and is just a memory. She deserves it. Go Giants! May God bless you all with his grace:)
Opening Day-episode 16
Tomorrow, Christina and I will be at the SF Giants opening day game. It's special to us. This year, it will be even more special. Not only because she has breast cancer and life can be so damn finite. It's because of our circle of friends. We all have friends. Some are neighbors that we see almost every day mowing the lawn or grilling burgers on the 4th of July. Some date back to kindergarten, middle or high school. It doesn't matter how or where we met. It does matter that we DID meet!
The Giants circle of friends lost a great guy, Stu Spafford, in May of 2009. A fun loving guy who bled black and orange. He was a fixture to every opening day at Pac Bell, SBC (remember that?) and AT&T. I miss him and so does C. And many other good people. Speaking of good people, SK is one of the best. He had a big part in bringing Christina and I together. I won't bore you with the details, but he had my back. Period. And C loves him so much. I'm positive the feeling is mutual. When they get together, it's usually ugly but full of laughs. Laughs heal us. So if SK wants to be around every day, then it shall happen!!
One of Christina's primary goals was to be at opening day. She feared it would not happen or if it did, she would be wearing a wig. Well folks, she will be proudly displaying her natural god-given hair and that is something to cheer about! Someone else in her close circle is TE. We have known him for 20 years. Salt of the earth and extremely talented at making things. Wine, canned goods, and beer are just a few of things he excels at. I hate him. I don't really hate him but he possesses a gift that I could never learn in a thousand years. On second thought, I do hate him.
My best friend, CS, will be there tomorrow as he has been every opening day since 2000. I am a fan of the Giants. My first game was in 1970. My love of the Giants pales in comparison to his. He still reads box scores. He knows the team batting average and tons of other stats that very few care about anymore. It will be great to see him. He loves C and vice versa. He is preparing his specialty tomorrow in honor of her- Cajun prawns. They are epic!!
In the midst of all the beers and food we enjoy tomorrow, I will pause more than once and rejoice in the fact that we are blessed to enjoy events like opening day. That fact will never be lost on us again. Go Giants!!!!
God Bess you all,
Butch
The Giants circle of friends lost a great guy, Stu Spafford, in May of 2009. A fun loving guy who bled black and orange. He was a fixture to every opening day at Pac Bell, SBC (remember that?) and AT&T. I miss him and so does C. And many other good people. Speaking of good people, SK is one of the best. He had a big part in bringing Christina and I together. I won't bore you with the details, but he had my back. Period. And C loves him so much. I'm positive the feeling is mutual. When they get together, it's usually ugly but full of laughs. Laughs heal us. So if SK wants to be around every day, then it shall happen!!
One of Christina's primary goals was to be at opening day. She feared it would not happen or if it did, she would be wearing a wig. Well folks, she will be proudly displaying her natural god-given hair and that is something to cheer about! Someone else in her close circle is TE. We have known him for 20 years. Salt of the earth and extremely talented at making things. Wine, canned goods, and beer are just a few of things he excels at. I hate him. I don't really hate him but he possesses a gift that I could never learn in a thousand years. On second thought, I do hate him.
My best friend, CS, will be there tomorrow as he has been every opening day since 2000. I am a fan of the Giants. My first game was in 1970. My love of the Giants pales in comparison to his. He still reads box scores. He knows the team batting average and tons of other stats that very few care about anymore. It will be great to see him. He loves C and vice versa. He is preparing his specialty tomorrow in honor of her- Cajun prawns. They are epic!!
In the midst of all the beers and food we enjoy tomorrow, I will pause more than once and rejoice in the fact that we are blessed to enjoy events like opening day. That fact will never be lost on us again. Go Giants!!!!
God Bess you all,
Butch
Thursday, March 3, 2016
"Cancer has humbled me (us)"
Cancer has probably touched someone in your life, no doubt. It took my father and many other relatives that I loved very much. And now it has grabbed onto my wife. It has become very personal to me again. I hate cancer. Christina told me the other day that "cancer has humbled me." She's right. It has humbled me as well. You have to rely on doctors and nurses and drugs for your very survival. You realize very quickly that you are not 100% in control of your life.
The only thing you can control is your attitude. Christina has been flawless in that regard. She remains humble and kind (yeah I stole that from Tim Mc Graw's latest single-but it is true!). She is there to talk to anyone going through the journey and the battle. She smiles and laughs way more than she frowns and cries. I have said it many times in this blog but she is my hero. My humble hero.
The only thing you can control is your attitude. Christina has been flawless in that regard. She remains humble and kind (yeah I stole that from Tim Mc Graw's latest single-but it is true!). She is there to talk to anyone going through the journey and the battle. She smiles and laughs way more than she frowns and cries. I have said it many times in this blog but she is my hero. My humble hero.
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Sweet sixteen
Chrissy and I just got home from a fabulous weekend in Napa. One of the Angels in our life, K, again showed us how good humans can be to each other. He is the most generous person we have ever met and continues to amaze us every time we get together. It capped off our 16th wedding anniversary that started off on Friday with a quiet night at home.
It's been just over a year since "the lump" started us on our cancer journey. Christina has shown so much courage and strength throughout the year, enduring endless treatments, appointments and two surgeries. Our 16th year together as a married couple was definitely one that I didn't expect but as Forrest Gump said "life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are gonna get." How true. We don't take anything for granted as we know that cancer is always working it's sinister plan to take us down.
I love you Christina as do so many others in your life. I hope and pray that we have many more anniversary dinners to share. And wine. And kisses. The last last sixteen have been so sweet.
XOXO
Butchie
It's been just over a year since "the lump" started us on our cancer journey. Christina has shown so much courage and strength throughout the year, enduring endless treatments, appointments and two surgeries. Our 16th year together as a married couple was definitely one that I didn't expect but as Forrest Gump said "life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are gonna get." How true. We don't take anything for granted as we know that cancer is always working it's sinister plan to take us down.
I love you Christina as do so many others in your life. I hope and pray that we have many more anniversary dinners to share. And wine. And kisses. The last last sixteen have been so sweet.
XOXO
Butchie
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
45 And Alive!!
Christina celebrated her 45th birthday last night at home with our roommate/niece. It was a relaxing evening filled with laughs. The two of us had spent the weekend in SF eating and drinking our way around Nob Hill and the downtown areas. I love and hate the place. I love the uniqueness of the many hills, building designs and views of the bay. It truly is a special place. I've grown weary of the thousands of panhandlers/homeless/drug addicts and the insanely stupid politicians. Enough about that...
We had several great snacks and meals over the weekend and our niece and her friend joined us for a night. Christina is feeling stronger each day although the joint pain and stiffness from one of the post surgery drugs is really causing her discomfort. It seems to be under control if she pops Ibuprofen. Hopefully, it decreases in severity and does away.
It is amazing to think that a year ago it was a small lump and a question of whether it was anything serious. Well, that has been answered. She has endured an incredible amount of treatments, appointments surgeries and chemotherapy since then. Always looking on the bright side, her theme this year is "45 and Alive." I dig it!
We had several great snacks and meals over the weekend and our niece and her friend joined us for a night. Christina is feeling stronger each day although the joint pain and stiffness from one of the post surgery drugs is really causing her discomfort. It seems to be under control if she pops Ibuprofen. Hopefully, it decreases in severity and does away.
It is amazing to think that a year ago it was a small lump and a question of whether it was anything serious. Well, that has been answered. She has endured an incredible amount of treatments, appointments surgeries and chemotherapy since then. Always looking on the bright side, her theme this year is "45 and Alive." I dig it!
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
RUN Forrest (Errr... Christina) RUN!!!
It's official: my wife is a badass. Yeah, Yeah, we all know that but just in case you forgot! Christina ran for the first time since December 20th on Sunday evening. Don't tell her doctors-she isn't supposed to be running or doing "full activities" for another week or so. She asked me if I thought it was good idea and I nodded approval. Just over 7 miles on her normal loop. She said she struggled at first as she has been enduring intense joint pain and stiffness as a side effect from one of her drugs.
For good measure, she ran again last night at dusk. Same trip with a better time and less of a struggle. The words back to normal are fitting here. The smile has returned. I just hope she doesn't decide to run across the country like Forrest Gump did. On the other hand, if she wanted to do that, she could. Trust me, she could...
For good measure, she ran again last night at dusk. Same trip with a better time and less of a struggle. The words back to normal are fitting here. The smile has returned. I just hope she doesn't decide to run across the country like Forrest Gump did. On the other hand, if she wanted to do that, she could. Trust me, she could...
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Hello there!:)
Sorry for the lapse in keeping you up to date on Christina. She is doing great. Her reconstructive surgery went flawlessly and I was wheeling her out to my car two hours after it.She continues to amaze!Christmas and New Years were very nice although quieter than most years. We relaxed and had some family over on Christmas day for a nice visit. It's not about the gifts for us. We just like being around friends and family and enjoying each other.
Christina isn't able to run and won't be for a couple more weeks. She is, however, walking as much as possible to keep her fit. She says "it keeps the demons away." We all need that. She is taking a few medicines and they do have some side effects but she takes it all in stride. Her hair is thick and wavy-I cannot wait until she starts wearing a short hair style. Her wig, "Felicia," still looks beautiful. She really would like to have the option of not wearing it every damn day. Many people don't even know that she was ever battling cancer or that she was bald, including co workers and neighbors. Some of them will be shocked when they finally see her.
She meets with her plastic surgeon next week to check on the healing progress. I know that she is dying to run and will very soon. A year ago, it was a small lump and a question in our minds. Man, what a year..
Christina isn't able to run and won't be for a couple more weeks. She is, however, walking as much as possible to keep her fit. She says "it keeps the demons away." We all need that. She is taking a few medicines and they do have some side effects but she takes it all in stride. Her hair is thick and wavy-I cannot wait until she starts wearing a short hair style. Her wig, "Felicia," still looks beautiful. She really would like to have the option of not wearing it every damn day. Many people don't even know that she was ever battling cancer or that she was bald, including co workers and neighbors. Some of them will be shocked when they finally see her.
She meets with her plastic surgeon next week to check on the healing progress. I know that she is dying to run and will very soon. A year ago, it was a small lump and a question in our minds. Man, what a year..
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