The roller coaster of cancer

The past couple days have been a roller coaster of emotions for the both of us. Christina got her BRACA genetic test. It came back negative which is great. Much less chance of recurrence in her ovaries. Her AKG came back fine as well. Since she runs around 40 miles per week, there wasn't much doubt about that one. She just called to tell me that her PET scan came back clear as well. Also great news. So why I am crying during the Knorr sauces commercial on youtube? Not kidding.  Who the hell knows!

I let two of my cousins know this morning. If anyone knows the horrors of cancer, it's those girls. Mother and father as well both of their brothers were lost to the "Big C."  We hosted the nieces last night from Stockton. No tears and lots of laughs.Pizza from Paxti's was damn good too! Christina tried to show them through her humor and strength how to take on cancer. There were no pity parties in Pleasant Hill. There won't be.

Two of her biggest concerns are her not being able to run during the chemotherapy (it starts next Wed) and the loss of her hair. She sent me a link to a Runners World article from a cancer patient. The bottom line if it possible to run, she is going to do it. And I fully support her efforts to do so. As far as the hair, she is planning on wig shopping soon. She was considering a cold cap device but the results were mixed and there was still a good chance of much of her hair falling out anyway.

So back to the sobbing during the hollandaise sauce commercial. I guess what makes me the saddest is that I cannot take care of my baby. I always was so proud that from the time she wakes to a freshly made extra hot latte to the time she sits down to a home cooked meal, I take care of her. In nearly 20 years, I have only screwed up two dinners (Thai pepper beef and steamed clams). Breast cancer treatment? That recipe is not in my repertoire. I'm useless. I can't imagine being a parent and seeing your child suffering in pain. I guess I am going through a similar process. I know during the chemo treatments, I will need to focus on something. Currently leaning towards fitness. Booze isn't the answer and I suck at home improvement projects. Kettle bells and TRX? I can do that! Now if I can just avoid the Knorr gravy commercials. I will be fine:)