The circle

Most of us are surrounded by friends and family. Christina and I are blessed to have many great people in our lives. You try not to take them for granted  but when something serious happens, you realize even more how blessed you really are. She has two great bosses at work. One of them is a breast cancer survivor. Christina is very close to her and has been since they met. They click. It's that simple. From their love of animals and food to the clothes they wear, they share a lot in common. I was hoping that cancer was one thing that they wouldn't have to both experience. That ship has sailed. She is also an assistant for one of the partners at work as well. I cannot tell you how much this man has helped Christina and I out over the past 2 years. We have shared unbelievable experiences with him. He is one of the most generous persons I have met in my life. I love him like a brother. He hosted us this past weekend in Napa. I crumbled when he gave a toast to Christina towards then end of our night on Saturday. It was a combination of the copious amounts of French Burgundy and 18 year old Scotch. And the fact that I cannot take of my baby and make the cancer go away.

 I always feel like shit when she leaves for work. She has a 15 minute drive to BART with no traffic followed by a 35 minute train ride into SF. I know she thinks about having cancer then but doesn't have anyone to talk about it to. I know once she gets to the office, she is in good hands. She's already let most of her co-workers and friends know. I did some of the dreaded "well...there's no easy way to say this but Christina has breast cancer" emails and phone calls. I broke down when I told my mother, sister and brother. I try to be strong in front of her. It's tough. She is  five feet two (and 3/4 according to her) and around 112 pounds. I want cancer. Well, I guess I mean that I don't want her to have it and I would take it from her in a second. She keeps saying she is in a good place. I broke down on our anniversary on February 26th while driving the car to grab a celebratory cocktail.  Yay!, here's to 15 years of marriage and cancer with all it's glory!! That's not a toast that you ever want to mutter. We ended up not being able to find a place in Lafayette and drove home. That's probably where we should have been anyway. Just the two of us with our 4 mutts. Our little circle. 

We are letting more and more people into our circle. He parents know as do a few of her relatives. She has a huge family and many of them live on Facebook. Eventually, it will leak out and there will be tributes and messages flowing in. For now, we are just taking things one day at a time. She had a PET scan yesterday and has an EKG on the books for today. Chemotherapy is slated for next Wednesday. I will be there for that part of the journey. Her short term goal is to be healthy enough to attend the Giants home opener on April 13th. I wouldn't bet against her. She doesn't know it yet but if she cannot make it, I am planning an opening day party at our house. I won't go without her. Ever..Circle of two is all I need.